Dear Victoria,

Don't worry little girl, we haven't forgotten about you, not for one second.  In fact we are thinking and praying about/for you more than ever.  It's hard not being able to just come to you.  Knowing that we have done everything we can up to this point and are just waiting is not easy.  I've been working REALLY hard at being extremely frugal and saving saving saving.  I've been making meal plans every week so that we eat at home and save money.  Whenever I want to buy something that we don't NEED right now, I look at your beautiful picture and am reminded that it can wait.  I was so proud of myself today as I went to Wal-mart to get the weekly groceries and only spent $26.00 and didn't buy anything that wasn't on my list.  I think that is a first!

We pray every day that things will get moving along in your city so that we can make that first trip soon to come and meet you.  There are lots of people out there praying for you.  Your picture sits on top of the fire place and we look at it all the time.  When I'm playing with your sisters I look up and try to imagine what it will be like when you are here playing with us.

People often ask me what happens next, so I'll try to explain it as best as I can.  Once our paperwork is submitted to your country they will give us your referral, then we will get more information about you, like your medical history, whatever information they have about your family history and hopefully more pictures of you.  When we get the referral we will be given our first travel date.  We will have about 2 weeks to book our flights, lodging and get visa's.  Then we will spend about a week in your country meeting with you at your orphanage for a visit each day and also meeting with people in your country.

Then we come home and wait for a court date.  That can take anywhere from 4-12 weeks or so.  We will then fly back to your country for about a week and go before a judge to plead our case to adopt you.  From what I understand special needs adoptions are still fairly new in your country and its hard for them to understand why we would go through so much to adopt a child that isn't "perfect" in their eyes.  I just wish they knew what we know, that you are the definition of perfection.  If the judge rules in our favor, then you will be ours.  We will have to wait 30 days until we can bring you back home with us, so once again we will have to fly back home without you.  After the 30 day waiting period we will be able to come back and get you, bring you home and have you with us forever.

It will be hard to be away from your sisters for those three trips, but we just have to remember that it will be worth it when we have you home with us.  We know Heavenly Father will watch over all of us and help things workout the way they are suppose to.  We are getting close, I can just feel it!

Love Mommy

P.S.  Thank you to everyone that participated in our fundraiser and those of you who have been donating to our account.  Every little bit helps and we are truly humbled by your generosity to help us bring Victoria home.  We also appreciate the prayers that are said on our behalves.  It means so much to us to have your support.

The Waiting Game

Dear Victoria,

Sorry that I haven't written in a while. We have some updates to let you know about. First, all our paperwork (Dossier) is in your country and in the process of being translated and prepared to submit to your country. It will probably be the first of May before we hear anything about it. Today dad and I are going to get fingerprinted, the final step in our USCIS process to be approved to adopt you and bring you home to the United States.

Our 31 bag fundraiser is going pretty good and we are only $120 away from reaching our goal. It closes on Friday, so if anyone still wants to order, they have to do it before then. Go here to order. Also, if you would like to order a purse at half off, but don't want to spend the initial $31, leave me a comment with your contact info and we can set that up for you. We really appreciate everyone who has helped us out with this.

So now what??? We play the waiting game. Everything is out of our hands at this point and we just have to wait to hear from your country as far as when we can travel to make our 1st trip to meet you. This is where we need LOTS and LOTS of prayers that this will happen soon. The sooner we can get to you the better. Hang in there little girl, we are coming :)

Love Mommy

31 Fundraiser

Dear Victoria,

A very kind friend from our neighborhood has offered to do an online fundraiser for you. It is so humbling to have so many people reach out and help to get you home. Below are the details to the fundraiser, she is giving us her WHOLE commission!

RESCUING VICTORIA FUNDRAISER

Let’s kick off Spring with some great new Thirty-One products and help bring sweet little Victoria home to her forever family at the same time!

Dates: April 1st thru April 14th Time:

Anytime Where: Online at www.31bagchick.com

**25% of all sales will be donated to the Bonner family to aid in the costs associated with adopting this precious little girl. Let’s help bring Victoria home soon!

For every $31 you spend your name will be entered into a drawing for a half price item.

To place an order go to www.31bagchick.com, click on My Events and chose the Rescuing Victoria Fundraiser. And don’t worry, you’ll still get tickets into the drawing for online orders as well.

Go ahead and make your wish list now by viewing the online catalog but please refrain from placing any orders until April 1st or they will not count towards the fundraiser.

And don’t forget to take advantage of this month’s customer special! For every $31 you spend you can get any purse ½ price! This includes the ever popular Retro Metro bag, Fifth Avenue Purse and the brand new Casual Cargo Purse plus many others.

You are CHOSEN

Dear Victoria,

Oh my goodness I'm so excited to share this video with you. I just saw in on my friends blog and absolutely LOVED it and knew you would love it too. My favorite part is the song at the end. I just heard this song for the first time on the radio last week and fell madly in love with it. Ask your sisters, we have listened to it at least 15 times in the last 24 hours. It reminds me of you. Someone might think, why? You've only known about Victoria for 2 months, how have you loved her for 1,000 years? Well if you remember from an earlier post I honestly believe that we knew this plan in the pre-existence, before we came to earth. So really, its been a lot longer than 1,000 years, but that works.

In the first verse it says,

How to be brave

How can I love when I'm afraid to fall

But watching you stand alone

All of my doubt suddenly goes away somehow

I have to tell you that for now the bravest part for me is letting myself fall in love with you. There is always that chance that something could happen and we wouldn't be able to bring you home. Nothing is certain in adoptions until after the judge has ruled in our favor, and we can bring you home. Part of me doesn't want to open myself up to the possibility of losing you, but I'm trying my best to be brave. To open my heart completely to you, knowing that its all in God's hands, and whatever the outcome, it is right. I learned this lesson while pregnant with your sister Kaelyn. We never knew if she would even live, and I prayed so hard to be able to accept God's will. It was the hardest thing I've ever done and things worked out perfectly, but it was a long, scary process. So this time around I'm doing the same. Loving you as if you were here with us now, so when you are, it will be as if you've been here all along.

My other favorite part of the video are the lines, "Once your were rejected, now you are CHOSEN" I hope you realize how very special you are and that we are doing everything in our power to bring you home, because we chose you and because God chose us. He loves you dearly and wants you to have the best this life has to offer you.

Love Mommy

FYI Here are all the lyrics

"A Thousand Years" by Christina Perri

Heart beats fast

Colors and promises

How to be brave

How can I love when I'm afraid to fall

But watching you stand alone

All of my doubt suddenly goes away somehow

One step closer

[Chorus:]

I have died everyday waiting for you

Darling don't be afraid I have loved you

For a thousand years

I'll love you for a thousand more

Time stands still

Beauty in all she is

I will be brave

I will not let anything take away

What's standing in front of me

Every breath

Every hour has come to this

One step closer

[Chorus:]

And all along I believed I would find you

Time has brought your heart to me

I have loved you for a thousand years

I'll love you for a thousand more

One step closer

One step closer

[Chorus:]

And all along I believed I would find you

Time has brought your heart to me

I have loved you for a thousand years

I'll love you for a thousand more

A Conversation with God

Dear Victoria,

Happy World Down syndrome Day!!! Yes little girl, we celebrate Down syndrome in this family! (Check out your sisters blog to see what we did) Why?, because we have the inside scoop. We know something that most of this world does not understand. Down syndrome IS something to be celebrated. It has changed our lives for the better and we would never want to go back to before Kaelyn introduced us to this beautiful world.

This morning Kaelyn and Bryn got to spend the morning with Grandma Amy while I ran up to the capitol to get the documents for our dossier apostilled. We should get them back next week and then they will be sent to your country to be translated into your language! YAY, this is a big step. Then they will be turned into your country so we are registered and show that we meet their requirements to adopt you.

So while I was driving this morning I was thinking about what I wanted to tell you and this story came to my mind. In those early days back in December when all these thoughts about adopting a little girl with Down syndrome came into my life I asked a lot of questions. At times it felt like I was having a conversation with Heavenly Father, because each question was quickly answered in my mind. Answers that I know came from Him. One of those questions was "What if its hard having two small children with Down syndrome, not only that but eventually two adult children with Down syndrome?" The answer I got wasn't "It's won't be hard". It wasn't "It will be hard" either. It was simply just, "In the grand scheme of things this earthly life is just a blink of an eye in comparison to eternity. So even if its hard it will be worth it and you can do it." I believe it, it may be hard at times, but I also know that it will be awesome too! Any kind of change takes adjusting to, and we say bring it on. Thats what life is all about, learning and growing. The best part is knowing that we have Heavenly Father and His son Jesus Christ to help us. With them we can do anything!

In other news, we've got an exciting fundraiser to share soon, so stay tuned.

Love Mommy

Our Starfish

Dear Victoria,

The home studies are in the mail to be reviewed and also to apply for our USCIS paperwork. We only need 2 more things as far as our Dossier for your country is together. I'm planning to have everything together so I can take it to the capital the first of next week to get apostilled. Then we can send it in and it can get translated into your language. Once that is done it will be ready to be submitted to your country.

So I want to share a little story that I read back in January when all this started to come together.

The Starfish Story

adapted from The Star Thrower by Loren Eiseley

Once upon a time, there was a wise man who used to go to the ocean to do his writing. He had a habit of walking on the beach before he began his work.

One day, as he was walking along the shore, he looked down the beach and saw a human figure moving like a dancer. He smiled to himself at the thought of someone who would dance to the day, and so, he walked faster to catch up.

As he got closer, he noticed that the figure was that of a young man, and that what he was doing was not dancing at all. The young man was reaching down to the shore, picking up small objects, and throwing them into the ocean.

He came closer still and called out "Good morning! May I ask what it is that you are doing?"

The young man paused, looked up, and replied "Throwing starfish into the ocean."

"I must ask, then, why are you throwing starfish into the ocean?" asked the somewhat startled wise man.

To this, the young man replied, "The sun is up and the tide is going out. If I don't throw them in, they'll die."

Upon hearing this, the wise man commented, "But, young man, do you not realize that there are miles and miles of beach and there are starfish all along every mile? You can't possibly make a difference!"

At this, the young man bent down, picked up yet another starfish, and threw it into the ocean. As it met the water, he said, "I made a difference to that one!"

Victoria, you are our little starfish. Though we cannot change the world and rescue all of God's children who suffer and are lost, as much as we wish we could, we can change YOUR world. I wear this little starfish necklace with a heart in the middle everyday to remind me of you. It helps me to press forward and do all that I can to get to you. Whether is tracking down paperwork, saying a prayer or saving every penny I can, this little necklace reminds me that every little thing we do brings us that much closer to you.

Love Mommy

Home study - Check

Dear Victoria,

The Home Study is DONE!! I can't tell you how great it feels to say that. The official copies are in the mail and should arrive tomorrow or Thursday. When they get here I'll be sending off our USCIS I-1600A form (Petition to adopt a foreign orphan), One to our placing agency for the Home Study Review and two copies will go with the Dossier to your country.

Last night I got a few more forms to fill out and instructions for the Dossier and I'm happy to tell you that they are about all done, just waiting for a few answers to finish them up. I love having tasks I can get busy on, rather than just waiting for things to come in. I know there will be lots more waiting to do, but when there is work to get done I feel good. It means we are making progress and getting even closer to you! Once I get all the documents together for the Dossier we will need to get everything notarized and apostilled up at the State Capital. My goal is to get that done sometime next week. Then we can send everything in to get registered with your country. Once all that is done we can start talking about scheduling our first travel date! So exciting, it's starting to feel even more real and I can't wait to meet you.

So in regards to the home study I have to tell you something, another miraculous piece of this story. The day after we were told we could move forward to adopt you I got on the computer to find someone to do our home study for us. We needed it done quickly, so I knew I needed Heavenly Fathers help to find the right people to help us. I sat down at the kitchen table, said a silent prayer knowing that I would need to be led to the right place. I began my google search for a company to do our home study. The first company I called took down some information and said they would be in touch.

I didn't want to waste any time so I kept searching. I got ahold of an adoption advocacy group or something that dealt more with domestic adoptions, but the really nice gentleman gave me the name and number of someone he thought could help me out. So I called the guy he mentioned. Even though he was on vacation at Disneyland when I called, he still answered and we got the ball rolling. I told him that we needed to move as quickly as possible and he assured me that he would be able to. We scheduled our first at home visit for as soon as possible and got started. A few days after we set up our appointments the person from the first agency I had called got back to me. I told them that I had already chosen another agency and I thought that was the end of the story.

Just recently I found out that 2 others families that I have met and are also adopting from your country, were working with that company on their home study. It turned out after they had put A LOT of time and money into the process, that the company was not licensed to do international adoptions and sadly they had to start all over. It breaks my heart to know that they went through all of that, but I pray that things will get moving quickly. I think they are both now working with the agency we went through, so I know things will get taken care of quickly. If anyone out there is adopting internationally from Utah I would highly recommend Wasatch International Adoptions to do their homestudy and if possible Josh to be their social worker. They are so on top of everything and have been so great to work with. From start to finish it took us 6 1/2 weeks to finish our home study and 2 of those weeks were just waiting for our background checks to come back from the state. From what I hear this is really fast for a home study.

I'm just amazed now looking back that I truly can see God's hand in lining me up with the correct people to do the home study. I know that He was with me that day while I was searching and calling around. He truly is guiding this process, I'm sure even more than I realize. You are so important to Him and he wants you home with your family. We are coming little girl, we are coming.

Love Mommy